back on track ... 1/2 year ...

October started with so much energy.  I was full of excitement and I had a number of things I looked forward to.  My mind and body were both in sync, counting the days with unending thoughts.  One by one they came and filled my days with sunshine and joy.  As one by one left, a different yet familiar ghosts slowly kicked in.  I hate to face the feeling of dreariness and emotional outbursts but my!  I'm just a woman too good to cry in silence and prefers to remain silent.  I went through a roller coaster of events and emotional moments resulting my absence in updating this space.  Because they are now water under the bridge, I can now share them with you.

1.  Every time Jack comes home for a week long vacation the waiting time moves in a slow motion.  When he is already at home, time moves in so fast like it was just yesterday.  The most dreaded part of saying goodbye comes then he leaves ... zooooom!!  Argh!  It would take me a whole week to recover and this is what I went through when Ian and Kriziann went home after a week long visit.  Kriziann (2 yr old nephew) was a lot to handle!  It was a real topsy-turvy, noisy, scheming, and screaming week at home but it was a hilarious and happy bonding week after all.  As I recall the days now, I only have a smile on my lips and pleasant thoughts as I flip through the memories.  I can never forget how Kriziann:

• reacts to every thrilling scenes of Atlantis' 1st episode which appears frightening to him.  He cringes and cries yet he continues to watch it till the end.  He was too glued in watching the Pacific Rim.  He finished the movie and he is such a funny boy.  When the scenes became too intense he panicked and cried and still he watches the movie intently. 

• it was a revelation how a chocolate frap can affect a 2 year old.  He was so high in spirit and very uncontrollable.  He shouted and threw tantrums.  Of course, it was so attention grabbing and embarrassing to the other customers.  So, I asked Ian to let him run around and sweat out to release the frap out from his system.  Whew!  At least, it worked out.  A good relief!  But my! He acted like he was a drunk or one having hallucinations.  Tsk!

• the toilet episode.  Jack went inside and Kriziann followed.  He never listened as we called his attention to get out.  While Jack peed, he was the audience and said "Uncle" with his innocent grin.  lol.

It was a good time to catch up with my sister.  There were no heart to heart talks and shopping sprees but the company of having her and Kriziann around was heart-warming enough.  It was nice hearing Z and Kriziann laugh together and see them play together.  Fighting is not an estranged word to them but they are not like adults, they can easily get over with the fighting and back to being buddies again.  How time flies!  Their smiling and wacky faces in the photos are contagious and are so fun to look at.

2.  The laptop's hinge broke down and so it was sent for repair as it will cause damage to the cover or worst the LCD later if left neglected.  I might belong to the dark age in terms of updating my space but I prefer using a laptop.  The screen size which I really appreciate, the keyboard, and I don't know I am just so comfortable making my piece in the laptop which my phone can't measure up to.  My phone is also a great tool for me but when it comes to writing, I still prefer a laptop.  Low tech or what, still laptop! ☺.  Another reason to be AWOL from updating. ☺

3.  When I was above ground, way above dreariness and regained my old self something surfaced that shattered the good vibes.  It was a holiday the next day October 15, so I was so spiced up to go out.  I wanted to go to the mall my feet were itching to go out.  I need a breather.  I text Jack if our Monday-Burger-hunt plan will push through since the place we planned to go to is closed on Mondays.  After several exchanges there was no firm and final decision.  From school I told Z to take his snacks, finish his homework immediately, and change clothes because we are going to the mall.  He got his homework, ate his snacks and was glued to the TV.  I checked his homework and since the pictures were a blur I had a hard time identifying some of the pictures.  I resigned and told him to ask his teacher again.  Again and again I told him to move fast as it was past 4PM.  My patience was pushed to the limit and I'm a very impatient person.  I was not anymore interested of going out.  I was too angry and too frustrated.  I didn't talk to both of them.  I busied myself with the chores and went to bed.  I hate what I did but this I reminded myself "If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all."  It appears too childlike of me or too unreasonable but here is my sentiment:

         

          For many years, I have been in and out of the house because I was a career woman.  Anytime I want to go to the mall, I can.  I am in touch with people, surrounded with people, and mingle with people.  I am not complaining that my life now is just home to school, school to home, home to mall (only as needed), and home to somewhere else because as usual, as needed or whenever we have visitors.  Good for them that they have an office and school to go to.  Whether they love it or hate it, they get to live for a time in a different environment.  Me?  I'm stuck at home!  Me and me alone until it's time for them to come home. 

Yes, self-pity flooded over me.  I got mad and my thoughts were running like crazy.  It's a battle between me an extrovert VS them the introverts.  Sigh!   

4.  Then a bad news.  I received Mama's text message last October 15 at 8:32AM.   The never before strongest earthquake that shook Bohol and Cebu in my whole existence happened.  And this was my last update in my space.  Still, I wasn't talking to my boys.

Next day, I disabled my mute mode and in communication with Jack and Z again.  It was not because of the earthquake episode but because I chose to embrace a different outlook.  I have given myself time and allowed what it wanted to do which was to just shut up.  I had time to think things over, had time to debate with myself, had time to think of activities that could help enrich myself despite setbacks and limited resources and most of all, I prayed.   

Despite all these dramas I am thankful for the pick me up moments that happened afterwards:

1.  Too timely!  Ian sent me some stuff through Kliff who was on a business trip in KL.  A real lift me up package. 

2.  For the first time since I landed in KL, I had my me-moment-lunch accidentally and unexpectedly.  I was already hungry and Kliff was still not done so I ate ahead of him ☺. 

3.  I enrolled in a workshop but will do a separate write-up.

4.  For the first time, I did something I have never done since relocating.  It was like a "day-off" feeling.  Yes!  A day-off even if it was only for 6 hours.  I had a Me-time!  I was on my own.  I had lunch again on my own!  I was roaming around the mall on my own.  Re-charged?!  Definitely! 

5.  Jack brought home 2 slices of brownie cheesecake even without being asked.  I truly appreciate the gesture. 

6.  Laughter has come home.

7.  Short messages from friends whether from the earthquake that happened, IG postings, and requests as long as it was addressed to me ☺

 -- Monique, Reenah, Imma, Rizza, Lorena, Cha2x, July G., Tonet, Mygie and Tom.

8.  Knowing that my family, friends and relatives are alive and well after the quake and the endless tremors ... what more can I ask for.

Happy 6 months to me and Z here in KL.  I also want to thank those who subscribe to this space or accidentally gets to read my posts.  With all my heart, thank you. 

It's raining here on this calm Sunday but it doesn't mean KL is unhappy that we are here for the longest time hahaha.  God is just pouring down wonderful blessings that's all☺.  

Be safe everyone and countdown begins until yummylicious' delivery arrives.

Have a great time with your loved ones today ☺ !!  Happy Sunday!